WHEN MARAUDERS LOOK THROUGH YOUR COMPUTER FILES AND FIND…
A Tale of Good Clean Fun
Sirius: Oo… what’s this… a tale of us?
James: "Good Clean Fun"…?
Remus: Umm… no.
Peter: Got any food? *scampers off*
Once upon a time there were four angelic little boys.
Sirius: See, it is about us!
Remus: *sarcastic look*
Their names were Simon, Jared, Ralph, and Phileas.
James: Hmm… those are very suspicious looking names…
Sirius: Note the beginning letter of every name!
James: *whacks Sirius round head with fire extinguisher, grinning* Don’t give it away, numbskull!
Peter: "Phileas"…?
One day Simon and Jared decided to play a prank on their classmate Spencer.
Sirius: Argh! Snape’s in this story!!
James: *titters* "Spencer"…
Remus: Snape doesn’t exactly seem Spencer type.
James: *whacks Remus round head with fire extinguisher*
Remus: OWWWWWWWW! What was THAT for?????
James: To get the Princess Di out of your system.
Spencer was also an angelic boy
Sirius: Urgh, Snape, angelic?? It’s enough to make me projectile vomit.
Remus: Oww, James, you’ve given me a huge bump!!
James: Pshaw, as if you don’t know a spell to mend it.
Remus: Actually I do. *points wand at James* Levicorpus!
James: *rises off ground by ankle* Oi! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!!!
Sirius: Nice one, Moony.
But he was a little different from our four boys…
Sirius: Yeah, he was INSANE.
James: You mean to say you’re *not* insane, Padfoot?
Sirius: *conspirational grin*
He was very interested in mathematics.
Sirius: Math… e… mat… icks?
Remus: The Dark Arts of the Muggle world.
As Spencer was walking home that day, Simon and Jared waited in a bush on his route home.
James: A bush?!
Sirius: We never stooped that low.
Remus: Literally.
At the precise moment, Jared jumped out and startled half the daylights out of Spencer!
James: Only half the daylights?
Then Simon jumped out and scared the other half of the daylights out of Spencer!
Sirius: Now I get it.
"You two scared the daylights out of me!" Spencer declared.
Remus: It doesn’t get cheesier.
Peter: CHEESE??????????????????? WHERE?
Sirius: D’you think the author of this was bored, uncreative, or just plain stupid?
James: I’m going for just plain stupid myself.
Laura
: Hey, watch it.
"We know! That’s why we did it!" the two boys answered gleefully.
Sirius: Oh my… we’d NEVER give away our motive like that!!
James: These must be extremely stupid versions of us.
Remus: Not that you’re not extremely stupid already…
James & Sirius: *whack Remus round head with fire extinguisher*
"I will get you back one day!" Spencer laughed
James: Can you imagine Snape laughing?
Sirius: Nope, except for maybe cackling evilly.
Peter: *shudders*
And the three boys skipped down the road home.
Peter, Remus: *die laughing*
Sirius: SKIP down the road with SNAPE????????????
James: Urgh!! Not in this life… or the next… or the next… or the next…
Remus: I doubt Snape would want to skip with you two, either.
Sirius: This is SICKENING. Any minute now we’ll all be exchanging wildflowers and blowing the fuzz
off white dandelions!!
James: *projectile vomits* I don’t know how much more of this vileity I can take!
Remus: Well, you won’t have to take much more, since it’s…
THE END
Sirius, James: THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remus: What, didn’t you have fun watching your extremely stupid doppelgangers skip about with Snape’s
extremely stupid doppelganger?
James: *whacks Remus round head with fire extinguisher* Stuff it, Moony!
Remus: Oww!
Sirius: *to Remus* You really have been spending too much time with Laura.
Peter: …what’s a doppelganger?
